Love is like climbing up a mountain...

So Internet dating like finding love can be difficult. It's like climbing up a steep mountain, very exhausting and difficult, but once you get to the top the view like love is fantastic. Anyway through the rocky road of love and scammers I eventually met a beautiful Russian woman called Elena who arrived on her first holiday trip to Spain with her 11year old son using an ordinary tourist visa. We met, had fun and talked about everything we could think of. Our holiday conclusion was that we should meet again as soon as possible. We did 5 months later and we then lived in my home. Now do not forget the natural father has legal rights until the child is 18years. Did she tell him everything NO!! Neither did she write to the school after she had left Russia and inform them that her son would not be retuning to school. This led to the school contacting her relatives and eventually her divorced husband who then contacted the authorities. The result was that she ended up returning to Russia, passport confiscated and had to seek other employment. So what also did not help? Apart from the ex- husband, the school and the authorities, there are also other considerations. The son was generally a shy boy being cared for by his mother and grandmother. He did play with other children but spent most of his spare time with his mother. Here in Europe the children seem to be generally more independent. They love their families but also love their independence. Depending on the child's age, you can help and guide them to prepare for any possible future lifestyle changes within a new family and school environment. We do have a small Russian school in my hometown but I believe it is important to socially and culturally integrate with the society where you live. Although we must not forget our own roots, [I am English] but when in Spain I enjoy the Spanish lifestyle and its culture. Yes it is harder for adults to learn languages but nothing is impossible and children are more adaptable and willing to change if they are given the correct support and encouragement. To join a school you will need medical immunisation records, birth certificate and passport and an official Spanish translation. And finally a certificate of a Spanish living address called an " empadronamiento " and a social security certificate for medical emergencies [or private health insurance]. School year reports are useful but do not forget as the child is now in a foreign school they sometimes repeat the school year that they first attend. That is o.k. for most children joining a foreign school because they need to adjust to a new lifestyle and practice new languages. However all the families and adults, have to learn a new way of life and adjust to new cultures and a new lifestyle. I remember the girlfriend being very upset and annoyed that she could not find many clothes that were not made in the Far East. She said nobody in Russia buys clothes from china because they do not last! Here it is usual to have many changes of clothes for daytime and work and for going out at night. The family left in Russia also have to accept changes. The grandmother in Russia felt the separation from her and the grandson difficult. She felt isolated and lonely, cooking and cleaning for herself and so frequently asked for Elena to come home to Russia. Was she being correct or selfish I do not know but it did give anxiety to Elena. So what is normal, correct and expected in one country may not be so in another country. I would have hoped her family would have been more supportive to Elena. We might be European, but your own Russian culture and language is everywhere. Here on our small island I know of a Russian food shop and Elena met many other Russian women friends living and working here in Spain. Overall we had a fantastic time of 10 weeks and even though we talked about family and ourselves it was eventually the authorities and other family involvement that quickly concluded our relationship. We are still friends and keep in contact but like everything new we all have to learn and accept new challenges. So if I am lucky I hope that next time when I meet my lover and best friend, hopefully there will be a happier ending. Good luck to everyone in search of finding love and happiness. Martin